Thursday, December 12, 2013

This Has Been A Long Time Coming...

Okay, in the past few months there have been several relationship-y articles making the rounds on Facebook. You've seen them. "I didn't marry my soulmate!" and "Marriage isn't for you!" and "[something that goes against the grain so it must be profound]!". Look, we get it, going against the grain makes things more interesting sometimes. This blog is guilty of supporting Ben Affleck and Gal Gadot, as well as defending Miley Cyrus' swiftly deteriorating career. We even hated on JK Rowling one time (sorry about that one, Gelene and Bailey). Those aren't exactly popular decisions, which hopefully is what makes them an interesting read. In a world generally geared towards showing us what we want, we should all strive to see from alternative perspectives from time to time.

"BAH! ALTERNATIVE PERSPECTIVES." -All of you, probably

So here's the thing…

You probably don't want to take relationship advice from Facebook.

Now, we aren't exactly qualified to give out relationship advice. If love was a sport--and let's be real, it is--Mind Grenades writers would be a combined 0-4-1. 

We are the Utah Jazz of relationships.

But there are some things that you just know. You know Facebook isn't a source for any serious information, you know this. Facebook is to remind you that all your friends travel and have more fun than you do, and to supply you with infinite Buzzfeed lists to awaken your inner '90s nostalgia. Links you see on Facebook are not a life manual. In fact, stop believing you're the only one in life who didn't get a life manual- nobody did. Everyone's just trying to figure things out. You think your parents knew what they were doing when they had you? False.

Okay, fine; religious texts are, in a way, a life manual. 
But God still wants you to figure stuff out on your own.

So stop assuming that just because you read somewhere that some other person's dating experience was all like  "I never got butterflies when he kissed me or held my hand. He didn’t sweep me off my feet, and he wasn’t one to compliment me very much. But he was stalwart where it counted… We just made sense together" that your dating experience is gonna be like that. Because you know what? Your relationship probably isn't going to be anything like something you read on freaking Facebook. 

You may actually get the big tremendous "THIS IS IT" feeling. 

Maybe you'll have one of those Anastasia relationships where 90% of the time, you totally hate each other.

Not exactly sure why Fox Animation Studios thought kids would understand 
this particular relationship dynamic.

Maybe your love life will one day resemble your '80s movie of choice.

Or maybe nobody will want you and you'll wind up traveling abroad.

Making you the Allen Iverson of relationships.

The point is, maybe looking at others' relationships and assuming that's what it's going to be like isn't the way to go. The chances are good you're worrying way too much about this. Reading Facebook posts in order to reaffirm the opinions you probably already hold regarding relationships is no way to boost confidence. There will always be something more to read out there about "How to get your guy" or "This one weird trick will get you every girl's number" or whatever the hell Cosmopolitan is talking about.

Freaking Cosmo.

Just learn to be cool with who you are; then you won't need crappy advice from Facebook, or from your most favorite blog. And enjoy the holidays. More posts to follow soon.

With the right pair of aviators, you can be this cool.


P.S. You aren't going to end up alone, we just really wanted to make that Allen Iverson joke. 

But your relationship is never going to be like "Friends With Benefits." Seriously.

"Freaking Dave forgot to hand out the life manuals. 
Dave must die."

No comments:

Post a Comment